装B年龄不能错过。记录生活势在必得~

版权声明：转载时请以超链接形式标明文章原始出处和作者信息及本声明
http://bash.blogbus.com/logs/17765256.html

超级嗲男音：
Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
好了小朋友们！我们这儿还有个故事要讲～
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!
我们想向你介绍另一位《圣经》中的朋友～

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on TV.
如果我是上帝，我不会准许电视上有清晰版性爱。
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt B.
例如Opie边吃派边和甲阿姨干的那种

If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols.
如果我是上帝，你们都不能崇拜Billy Idol（某OX歌手）一类偶像
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible.
你们都得把Flavor Flav（某说唱歌手）之简介加进圣经
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
你们得取笑印度人，都别再制作《生死时速2》（电影）了
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no
如果我是上帝我就这么做。天堂不行，那就地狱吧。

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything.
如果我是上帝，我会聘一大堆奴隶做这做那
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing.
还得聘会唱歌的挪威籍女同来喂我葡萄吃

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with flip-flops.
如果我是上帝，我会禁止木屐和袜子同时穿
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
你们都得坐、转，妻子交换！
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
你们得抵制Olsen姐妹（曾经是童星一对），你们不许禁止《浑身是劲》
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no
如果我是上帝我就这么做。天堂不行，那就地狱吧。

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
当他们把布满丘疹的我钉上十字架上时，
I'll tell them I found Jesus, that should throw them off
我会告诉他们我发现了耶稣，他以后会报应他们的
He goes by the name Jesus(hay-suse) and steals hub caps from cars
他自称耶稣，到处偷着车的轮毂帽
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crow-bar?
耶稣呀～我能不能借一下你的撬杠？
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
用它来把该死的钉子拔出来，因为我开始疼了。

Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
怎么能受着这种迫害，还有这件难堪的T恤
"I Can't Believe It's Not butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged
写着，“我不敢相信这竟不是奶油！（美国著名人造黄油广告语）”
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
嗯，如果我是上帝我会那么做。
So vote for me for savior and you'll go to Heaven
所以，为我做救世主投票吧！那样你就能升天
Your lame Dark Lord like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks
（这两句好像是什么施予的好处……么看懂）
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
你就是教不了一个老上帝新的花样（之前是You can't teach an old dog new tricks） 

But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
但如果我这么自卑的话，我能做好弥赛亚么？
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
如果我连自己都不相信了的话，那算不算渎神？

Just put some crummy "holier than thou" facade
那就随便做个寒酸的“我比你神圣”的外表吧。
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God.
嗯，如果我是上帝我会这么做。

附：恶搞视频一则。

营养解析一则：
Per 100g of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spread, it has 70g of fat, with around 8.4% saturated, 57% monounsaturated, 24.5% polyunsaturated, and 0% trans fats. Which relates to about 630千卡.